November 25, 2017


Tennyson was in the NICU for 8 days and we had nothing but a wonderful experience with our circumstances.

from wednesday to friday, neil and I spent as much time as possible in the NICU before I had to be discharged. he was admitted into the NICU because of his gestational age {34 weeks & 4 days}. he was on high oxygen, IV, feeding tube, his "house" had a regulated temperature and the standard monitors (heart rate, oxygen and pulse) in the beginning and each day, something was adjusted to see how he would react and he always did wonderfully. we were set up in bay 3 (bay 1 had critical babies and bay 7 meant going home). he had 1 neighbour beside him and 3 babies across from him. we are so lucky that he had no medical issues and was admitted just to figure out all the mechanics of being on the outside because a couple of the babies around us weren't so lucky.

we had one scare with him on the Thursday night after he was born. he was given formula twice that day because my milk hadn't come in yet. when we came in for the evening feed, our nurse said she wanted to chat with us. she showed us this dark brown/red yucky stuff in his feeding tube. they were concerned that there was blood in his belly but unsure if it was from delivery or if something internally was wrong. they ordered blood work and an x-ray to be done. as we were waiting to find out what was going on, 29 week twins were being admitted into the NICU and they of course were a priority to be cared for. neil and I had to wait in the waiting room and that was our first taste of real NICU life. the unknowns of what could be wrong with our baby, thinking the worst, being sent out instead of being able to stay with him. emotions were high and we ended up crying into each other. my parents had shown up to visit and were supposed to be able to hold him for the first time, but our visit was just us looking at him. his feeds were stopped the night to wait and see what the problem was and it ends up the blood in his belly was from delivery. his body reacted perfectly with my milk and he hasn't had formula since.

saturday to thursday, neil and I were trying to balance home life and NICU life. we had grandparents helping us on the weekend so we could both go be with him and then neil would go back on his own after shift change for the evening. neil went back to work monday, Caius went to daycare and I spent full days with Tennyson until I had to pick Caius up from daycare. neil would come home from work, do supper & Caius' bedtime and then he'd head to the NICU for as long as he could in the evenings. I was asleep by the time he'd get home because I'd be getting up throughout the night to pump. it was so hectic and hard even though it was a short while. we were crossing paths, we were both tired, I was home alone and night crying because Tennyson wasn't home with me. we thankfully had the opportunity to have a bloom camera to be able to login and watch him whenever we wanted to but it hurt my heart even more not being with him.

tennyson was an "easy" baby for the nurses workload and they all were wonderful. they would include us in everything, chat with us and make us feel like we weren't being an annoyance. having understanding and friendly nurses everyday made the experience a whole lot better. thursday morning I had gone in to visit and was in the mood to say "okay, what's it going to take to get him home?!" during rounds. he was doing everything he was supposed to be so why was he still here. as I sat and cuddled him and listened to his rounds updates, I saw one of the nurses mouth "discharge" to the other and shortly after, the attending doctor confirmed the news that he would be discharged. I thought I would cry in front of them but I just lit up with a huge smile. I told them I had everything ready to go in the truck and they said he would probably be good to go around 2pm. I stepped out to call Neil. every morning I would call him after rounds to give him an update on Tennyson. I was super calm when he first answered but very quickly said "its go home day!" he responded NO WAY! and was completely surprised. we both started crying on the phone and couldn't believe today was the day. I met him him back home so we could pick Tennyson up together. by 1pm we had gone through the checklist with the nurses (which was quite amusing since we knew everything she had to go through), my garbage bag of frozen milk was given to us, Tennyson was buckled in and we were on our way out. it felt so good to be walking away from the hospital knowing we wouldn't have to be coming back.

the NICU experience is definitely challenging and heartbreaking to be in there but we are incredibly thankful it went as well as it did. the NICU and NICU families will have a special place in our hearts.

One Month Old

Weight: he was 7lbs 2 oz. after being home for 10 days. we go for a weight checkup in 2 weeks but my guess he's 8lbs by now
Hair: lots of brown hair. the shaved spot from the NICU hasn't grown in
Eyes: they were really dark when he was born but they're definitely blue
Clothes: he's wearing newborn which he was swimming in when he first got home but they starting to fit pretty snug so he's wearing some 0-3 month sleepers. hasn't worn clothes yet aha
Diapers: newborn but those also seem snug so will be switching to size 1s soon
Likes: eating, cuddles, being in bath water, his sussie, swinging in his mamaRoo, laying on his tummy when being cuddled
Dislikes: being put in the carseat, burping, getting taken out of the bath and he'll sometimes cry with diaper changes and getting dressed
Eating & Sleeping: he's like clock work eating every 2 hours. it takes an hour to feed, burp, diaper change, feed and burp so I'm only getting 1 hour increments of sleep throughout the night. he will sometimes go 3 hours if he's in the mamaRoo or if we're driving but otherwise, it's every 2 hours. he's sleeping in his dockatot in our 4moms breeze playard in our room. he's super, super congested so he snorts and grunts most of the night. when we first got home, all he would do is eat and sleep and he's now having wake periods (during the night included)

November 7, 2017

34 Weeks

on sunday october 22nd, my water ruptured.

that morning, I asked Neil if we could install the car seat just because. {on the thursday prior, we had taken our house of the market because it was just getting too close to baby time.} when I came inside to put some of Caius' laundry away, I felt a wetness. I went to the bathroom to make sure it wasn't blood and it wasn't. the same kind of gush happened an hour later. after looking up possible reasons and reading about "premature membrane rupture", I drove myself to labor assessment. once I got there, they mentioned the same thing I had looked up and did a swab test to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. until going to the hospital, I really didn't think it was anything major. there was no way my water broke at 34 weeks. when the test result came back positive, I instantly started bawling. and because of how many weeks I was, I hadn't had the group b strep test done yet so that was ordered. the test results take 48 hours to come in and they wanted to start me on a preventative antibiotic treatment via IV just to be safe. it would be given every 4 hours for 48 hours and until the results came back. I asked the nurse through my sobs if I could go home to see my son and pack a bag. I had such sad and scary emotions, plus guilt. I was supposed to be training the new girl who was going to be filling my position the next day and now I'd be in hospital for a couple of days. I was able to go home in between doses and try to soak up some time with Caius while also packing. Neil was able to drive me back to the hospital and hang out with me before he had to come back home to be with Caius.

things were pretty uneventful for me while waiting for the test results. I was woken up throughout the night and had to be reattached to the IV throughout the day to get the antibiotic. I did random laps around the hospital, layed in my junk ass bed watching netflix, Lauren & Miller came to visit and brought me lunch and I tried to sleep here and there. I was leaking so much fluid that 1st 24 hours, everyone said that labour would probably start sometime soon but nothing was happening. on monday night the boys came to visit and bring me supper. I was so excited to see Caius and felt so bad that I was missing time away from him. on tuesday afternoon, my mom came to visit after work and I was just getting hooked up to my next dose of antibiotic when the nurse came in and said that I had tested positive for the bacteria. I bawled and bawled because it was discussed that if the results came back positive, baby was going to be delivered the next day. I was so hopeful that it was going to be negative and I was going to be able to go home and have baby cook a bit longer, but deep down inside I knew what the result was going to be. when I called to tell Neil the news, he was totally shocked. I again asked if I could go home to see my son and re-pack a bag because baby was going to be delivered on Wednesday at 1:30pm. I came home and instantly collapsed into Neils arms crying. I had to spend the night before my c-section at the hospital alone because of needing the antibiotic still.

wednesday morning, Neil took Caius to his parents house as they were going to keep him for a few nights and was at the hospital by 10am. we just hung out in the lounge area waiting for 1:30pm. we packed up all my stuff from my antepartum room and just waited until we were told it's go time. a labour & delivery nurse came to get us at noon to get us prepped. for my c-section with Caius, I had laboured for 18 hours before going in for a c-section and the only 2 things I remember is being wheeled into the OR and being thankful a spinal tap would stop the back labour and telling myself to stay awake while laying on the table waiting for Caius to be born. so this time, it was a completely different experience. we met each team member one by one, with them going over what their role was. I had to take a shot of this awful drink to prevent any acid reflux issues. I was so nervous while waiting. not so much of the section but as to what kind of baby we'd be delivering at 34 weeks and 3 days. my patient nurse Tabitha was amazing. she made the whole situation light and comfortable. she was a huge, huge help with me not breaking down on delivery day. at 1:30pm I walked myself into the OR and the team started it all. I had multiple people talking to me and asking me questions, it was kind of a whirlwind. 45mins. later, Neil was able to join me and the procedure started. I could feel the tugging, pulling and pushing of my belly. Tabitha kept updating us on what was going on and baby would be close. she was taking photos for us as everything was going on so Neil was able to stay by my side the entire time. finally, she said he was coming.

at 2:29pm on Wednesday October 25th, Tennyson Neil Nagy was born. weighing 6lbs 4oz. and was 18.5" long. I remember laying there so anxious to hear them say he's here and me holding my breath for the news. instant tears once they announced he was out. I had asked for a clear drape in order to see his birth, which I got, but because he came out stunned, the surgeon wasn't able to hold him up for me to see him and the NICU team got in to assess him right away. Neil went over to be with him and I waited wondering if I would even be able to see him. Neil was able to bring him over and lay him on my chest for a good while. I was so thankful that I got to talk to him and touch him for a bit before he had to be taken to the NICU.

being in recovery was strange. I had just delivered Tennyson but he wasn't with me. Neil, my mom and dad hung out with me until they got the OK to go see Tennyson in the NICU. Tabitha again made me feel calm and okay by talking to me about random things. I was told it would be 6+ hours before I could go see Tennyson. I was taken up to postpartum a couple hours after surgery and we snagged the victorian room. again, strange to have with no baby but it sure was nice to have a suite, especially after being stuck in my tiny space in antepartum. that evening, my in laws brought Caius to visit. he was able to play in the room and cuddled in with me to watch videos. they all took turns going to see Tennyson. finally after 9pm that night, I got to go meet my newest little man.

October 12, 2017

32 Weeks

32 week check up this morning and it went pretty well. received our official letter in the mail for my c-section. date, time, and all of the pre-op requirements are on paper. my guts went crazy last week because of my nerves! it just made everything real. my OB is going to be gone for the month of November and won't be doing the delivery. I'll be switching over to a new doctor after my next appointment and she'll be doing the surgery. my hope is that she is as open as my current doctor in regards to a few requests with the c-section. anxious to meet her and figure out a birth plan.

baby is measuring big (not surprised) and my doctor confirmed that it's a good decision to go ahead with the c-section and it's probably going to be tough to get baby out. am I gonna have a 9 pounder coming out of me? Caius was 8lbs 10oz. so it wouldn't surprise me!

I told neil I'm excited to meet this new peanut. I have moments of panic and worry and at this point, I'm excited. excited to see what baby looks like, their fingers & toes, what baby will smell like. I'm excited to see Caius as a big brother. the other night I was laying down with him and baby was moving like crazy. I asked if he wanted to feel. watching his face light up after he could feel the baby was the best! he just didn't know what to do he was so excited. he had to have my feel his belly for kicks and would make his stomach pop. what a little sweetheart.

done work in a month. baby coming in 7 weeks. so ready for the end of november!

September 28, 2017

30 Weeks

 30 Weeks & 5 Days

this morning I had my 30 week checkup. I will now be going to my OBGYN every 2 weeks until 36 weeks. 2 big things today was to see how my blood pressure was doing and to choose our c-section date. I've been tracking my BP everyday and sending my OB the results. he came back every time saying the numbers were good. the nurses usually take my BP when I first get to the office and it's been fairly high each time the last 2 months but today it was totally normal! from my last appointment, I for sure thought that I would have to be put on BP medication but it wasn't even mentioned this morning. hooray!

I brought Neil along this morning because I wanted him to meet my OB, plus to have him there to decide on the date, which we did! I'm super excited and it'll work out good that we chose the end of a week, so we'll be in hospital for a few days and then Neil can have a FULL week at home with us. it worked that way with Caius and we're both super happy it will happen this time too. I thought I would maybe be a little disappointed knowing the gender and the date of when the baby will be delivered but I feel really calm and excited that we have all the details figured out. one bummer is my OBGYN will not be delivering this baby (vacation time). I've been super happy with my care from him and appreciate his openness about my opinion and input with this planned c-section, so I hope one of his colleagues is just as receiving and will allow some of the requests I have. also, hope they do the surgery well so my recovery will be just as good as it was with Caius!

everything else pregnancy wise hasn't changed in 2 weeks. moving around at night is SO painful! I asked my OB this morning if I can Tylenol every night and if what I'm feeling is causing actual damage (it literally feels like things are tearing and separating in my groin). thankfully I got the OK to use pain medication every night if I have to and no real damage is being done. that's one of the main reasons why I wish november will get here QUICKLY is because the pain is so bad.

that's my report for 30 weeks!

September 14, 2017

28 Weeks

How Far Along: 28 weeks & 5 days
Symptoms: groin pain, tight & high stomach, I think possible dehydration? (dry mouth, leg cramps when trying to stretch, dark & heavy pee), general belly discomfort while sitting. I had my OB appointment this morning and there's concern with my blood pressure. it was fairly high this morning and I have to now do a read every day and email him the result. I'm also going back in 2 weeks for my next checkup because of the concern. my family has a history with high blood pressure and mine got dangerously high when I went into labour with Caius that I'm not totally surprised it's an issue again. I called Neil right after my appointment and had a good cry. I know going on BP medication will keep things safe and controllable. it's just not a good feeling knowing there's a serious issue and the memory of how scary it was last time, gives me a bit of anxiety. another good reason why we have chosen an elective c-section.
Weight: 205lbs.
Maternity Clothes: snagged some maternity jeans for cheap off H&M, a dress for a wedding + a long sleeve t-shirt from Old Navy. love maternity wear
Belly Button in or Out: still in but it's disappearing
Sleep: is just not what it used to be. up a few times during the night to pee. awake and in pain when trying to roll over. it's a mess.
Best Moment This Week: going for an ultrasound & going to find out the gender (but keeping it to ourselves only)
Worst Moment This Week: the discomfort and bit of pain with baby being sooo high up! my stomach feels rock hard towards the end of the day and I'm just uncomfortable in the evenings. + my OB appointment didn't have great news so not feeling real happy right now
Movement: so much. baby loves to kick and punch either my left or right side and high up
Looking Forward To: cooler temps so I don't have to wear shorts anymore and one good thing about my next OB appointment is we get to find out the date of our c-section
Cravings: chocolate milk is pretty high up there and usually a bowl of cereal in the evenings

August 28, 2017

Moving + Second Baby

{wrote this on monday august 21st}
it's monday, back at it. it was a whirlwind weekend I felt like but not in a bad way. friday morning Caius and I checked out the forestry farm, went to crave cupcakes for a treat and even hit up the pool in town for 45mins. while it was beautifully sunny and warm. friday night the 3 of us went to folkfest and had such a good time! saturday we worked on things around the house, saturday evening we went to my parents for supper and to hang out. sunday morning we took bubba to kinsmen park and went for lunch. and sunday evening we had family photos done. see, whirlwind weekend but it didn't feel like overwhelming.

{monday august 28th}
this past weekend it was just bubba and I. Neil went to the lake with my dad to play and since sleeping isn't that great for me out there, I stayed back with Caius. friday we picked up our photo session, played at a park and at Flynns Forrest. friday night, neil left and Caius was in bed early due to no nap that day. saturday was jam packed. we watched nana play slo-pitch, went to midtown & to toys r us, stopped for an oil change and I took him to the race track saturday night! he had a blast. lasted about an hour watching the races, then we played at the playground on site, got some mini donuts and headed home. he was up at 5:40am on sunday (so not okay) so we hit up a park in the morning after laying around for 4 hours anxiously waiting for dad to come home. I enjoy spending time with just him but boy oh boy, its even more tiring at 6 months pregnant. 

so at the moment we are preparing our house to list by the end of this week! we are moving back to the city for a few reasons. #1 is we only have a 2 bedroom upstairs. we could have probably made it work with room sharing but Caius was such a crappy, crappy sleeper for so long and I'm worried this next baby will follow in his sleep steps. also, we moved Caius to his crib when he was around 7-8 weeks old? neil and I both "slept" better with him being in a separate room and doing night feedings and everything. so if baby can't bunk with us for long, or Caius.. where are they gonna go?

#2 is we want to be closer to our families. going for family suppers, doing a visit, even grocery shopping and doing things "in the city" is always a trip. it's always 20mins. to get there and 20mins. to get back home and it's just a pain when dealing with sleep schedules and being on a time crunch all the time. I'm looking forward to just going over for a bit in the evenings or when asking for help to babysit, it's not so much of a hassle for them to come to us. it'll be a quick 5min. drive. looking forward to not feeling so "lonely" while on maternity leave with 2 kiddos.

I hope we can find something that we love as it will be our forever house. some wants of mine are an en suite bathroom & walk in closet :) ha, pretty simple and of course there's other things I'd like, but I'd say those two are a main want. being that we're not buying brand new and we're not building, we're flexible if we feel like the space is right for us.

the timing of this is kind of crazy and not the best, but we had to wait until this point to fully make the decision and now we are going to be trying to sell our house, buy a new house and welcome a new baby into the family. I think I'm starting to freak out because of all the unknown time frames. we are planning on baby being delivered at the end of november (if he or she doesn't come early on their own). so where will we be once that baby is here? no idea

being pregnant this time and expecting the arrival of this new baby has a lot of different aspects to it than it was with Caius. I do not and won't have a room set up for baby this time. with Caius, we had a crib built and set up in May? and he was born in October.. I wanted to make Caius' room perfect for before he arrived and I don't get to do that this time. I'm also really struggling with if I want to know the gender or not. all along it was a clear no as we will know the date and time of when this baby will be born. but now, with moving and going to be layed up after a c-section while still being a mom to a toddler freaks me out that I am unprepared. we obviously have a ton of stuff if it's a boy and season wise the clothes will fit just fine, but what if it's a girl? obviously I'll want to go crazy and get all the fun girlie stuff! but how will I do that with all of the circumstances

I know that family will be willing to run out and get whatever we need. but I'm a type a, need to plan & be prepared person who has control so I'm really leaning towards finding out what this baby is. and if we do find out, we won't be telling anyone. just keeping it our little secret. same with the c-section date.

I guess it's just starting to feel more and more real that we have a baby on the way. we have it pretty good with Caius right now and I'm nervous to interrupt that. the lack of sleep and the balancing of being a good mom to Caius and wife to Neil is a lot when I think about it. I don't want to damage the dynamic we have with Caius. and the stress of moving, followed by Christmas just freaks me the hell out. I know it'll all work out and the first 3 months will be our hardest. I'm just very, very nervous for all the unknowns. but excited too.