October 12, 2017

32 Weeks

32 week check up this morning and it went pretty well. received our official letter in the mail for my c-section. date, time, and all of the pre-op requirements are on paper. my guts went crazy last week because of my nerves! it just made everything real. my OB is going to be gone for the month of November and won't be doing the delivery. I'll be switching over to a new doctor after my next appointment and she'll be doing the surgery. my hope is that she is as open as my current doctor in regards to a few requests with the c-section. anxious to meet her and figure out a birth plan.

baby is measuring big (not surprised) and my doctor confirmed that it's a good decision to go ahead with the c-section and it's probably going to be tough to get baby out. am I gonna have a 9 pounder coming out of me? Caius was 8lbs 10oz. so it wouldn't surprise me!

I told neil I'm excited to meet this new peanut. I have moments of panic and worry and at this point, I'm excited. excited to see what baby looks like, their fingers & toes, what baby will smell like. I'm excited to see Caius as a big brother. the other night I was laying down with him and baby was moving like crazy. I asked if he wanted to feel. watching his face light up after he could feel the baby was the best! he just didn't know what to do he was so excited. he had to have my feel his belly for kicks and would make his stomach pop. what a little sweetheart.

done work in a month. baby coming in 7 weeks. so ready for the end of november!

September 28, 2017

30 Weeks

 30 Weeks & 5 Days

this morning I had my 30 week checkup. I will now be going to my OBGYN every 2 weeks until 36 weeks. 2 big things today was to see how my blood pressure was doing and to choose our c-section date. I've been tracking my BP everyday and sending my OB the results. he came back every time saying the numbers were good. the nurses usually take my BP when I first get to the office and it's been fairly high each time the last 2 months but today it was totally normal! from my last appointment, I for sure thought that I would have to be put on BP medication but it wasn't even mentioned this morning. hooray!

I brought Neil along this morning because I wanted him to meet my OB, plus to have him there to decide on the date, which we did! I'm super excited and it'll work out good that we chose the end of a week, so we'll be in hospital for a few days and then Neil can have a FULL week at home with us. it worked that way with Caius and we're both super happy it will happen this time too. I thought I would maybe be a little disappointed knowing the gender and the date of when the baby will be delivered but I feel really calm and excited that we have all the details figured out. one bummer is my OBGYN will not be delivering this baby (vacation time). I've been super happy with my care from him and appreciate his openness about my opinion and input with this planned c-section, so I hope one of his colleagues is just as receiving and will allow some of the requests I have. also, hope they do the surgery well so my recovery will be just as good as it was with Caius!

everything else pregnancy wise hasn't changed in 2 weeks. moving around at night is SO painful! I asked my OB this morning if I can Tylenol every night and if what I'm feeling is causing actual damage (it literally feels like things are tearing and separating in my groin). thankfully I got the OK to use pain medication every night if I have to and no real damage is being done. that's one of the main reasons why I wish november will get here QUICKLY is because the pain is so bad.

that's my report for 30 weeks!

September 14, 2017

28 Weeks

How Far Along: 28 weeks & 5 days
Symptoms: groin pain, tight & high stomach, I think possible dehydration? (dry mouth, leg cramps when trying to stretch, dark & heavy pee), general belly discomfort while sitting. I had my OB appointment this morning and there's concern with my blood pressure. it was fairly high this morning and I have to now do a read every day and email him the result. I'm also going back in 2 weeks for my next checkup because of the concern. my family has a history with high blood pressure and mine got dangerously high when I went into labour with Caius that I'm not totally surprised it's an issue again. I called Neil right after my appointment and had a good cry. I know going on BP medication will keep things safe and controllable. it's just not a good feeling knowing there's a serious issue and the memory of how scary it was last time, gives me a bit of anxiety. another good reason why we have chosen an elective c-section.
Weight: 205lbs.
Maternity Clothes: snagged some maternity jeans for cheap off H&M, a dress for a wedding + a long sleeve t-shirt from Old Navy. love maternity wear
Belly Button in or Out: still in but it's disappearing
Sleep: is just not what it used to be. up a few times during the night to pee. awake and in pain when trying to roll over. it's a mess.
Best Moment This Week: going for an ultrasound & going to find out the gender (but keeping it to ourselves only)
Worst Moment This Week: the discomfort and bit of pain with baby being sooo high up! my stomach feels rock hard towards the end of the day and I'm just uncomfortable in the evenings. + my OB appointment didn't have great news so not feeling real happy right now
Movement: so much. baby loves to kick and punch either my left or right side and high up
Looking Forward To: cooler temps so I don't have to wear shorts anymore and one good thing about my next OB appointment is we get to find out the date of our c-section
Cravings: chocolate milk is pretty high up there and usually a bowl of cereal in the evenings

August 28, 2017

Moving + Second Baby

{wrote this on monday august 21st}
it's monday, back at it. it was a whirlwind weekend I felt like but not in a bad way. friday morning Caius and I checked out the forestry farm, went to crave cupcakes for a treat and even hit up the pool in town for 45mins. while it was beautifully sunny and warm. friday night the 3 of us went to folkfest and had such a good time! saturday we worked on things around the house, saturday evening we went to my parents for supper and to hang out. sunday morning we took bubba to kinsmen park and went for lunch. and sunday evening we had family photos done. see, whirlwind weekend but it didn't feel like overwhelming.

{monday august 28th}
this past weekend it was just bubba and I. Neil went to the lake with my dad to play and since sleeping isn't that great for me out there, I stayed back with Caius. friday we picked up our photo session, played at a park and at Flynns Forrest. friday night, neil left and Caius was in bed early due to no nap that day. saturday was jam packed. we watched nana play slo-pitch, went to midtown & to toys r us, stopped for an oil change and I took him to the race track saturday night! he had a blast. lasted about an hour watching the races, then we played at the playground on site, got some mini donuts and headed home. he was up at 5:40am on sunday (so not okay) so we hit up a park in the morning after laying around for 4 hours anxiously waiting for dad to come home. I enjoy spending time with just him but boy oh boy, its even more tiring at 6 months pregnant. 

so at the moment we are preparing our house to list by the end of this week! we are moving back to the city for a few reasons. #1 is we only have a 2 bedroom upstairs. we could have probably made it work with room sharing but Caius was such a crappy, crappy sleeper for so long and I'm worried this next baby will follow in his sleep steps. also, we moved Caius to his crib when he was around 7-8 weeks old? neil and I both "slept" better with him being in a separate room and doing night feedings and everything. so if baby can't bunk with us for long, or Caius.. where are they gonna go?

#2 is we want to be closer to our families. going for family suppers, doing a visit, even grocery shopping and doing things "in the city" is always a trip. it's always 20mins. to get there and 20mins. to get back home and it's just a pain when dealing with sleep schedules and being on a time crunch all the time. I'm looking forward to just going over for a bit in the evenings or when asking for help to babysit, it's not so much of a hassle for them to come to us. it'll be a quick 5min. drive. looking forward to not feeling so "lonely" while on maternity leave with 2 kiddos.

I hope we can find something that we love as it will be our forever house. some wants of mine are an en suite bathroom & walk in closet :) ha, pretty simple and of course there's other things I'd like, but I'd say those two are a main want. being that we're not buying brand new and we're not building, we're flexible if we feel like the space is right for us.

the timing of this is kind of crazy and not the best, but we had to wait until this point to fully make the decision and now we are going to be trying to sell our house, buy a new house and welcome a new baby into the family. I think I'm starting to freak out because of all the unknown time frames. we are planning on baby being delivered at the end of november (if he or she doesn't come early on their own). so where will we be once that baby is here? no idea

being pregnant this time and expecting the arrival of this new baby has a lot of different aspects to it than it was with Caius. I do not and won't have a room set up for baby this time. with Caius, we had a crib built and set up in May? and he was born in October.. I wanted to make Caius' room perfect for before he arrived and I don't get to do that this time. I'm also really struggling with if I want to know the gender or not. all along it was a clear no as we will know the date and time of when this baby will be born. but now, with moving and going to be layed up after a c-section while still being a mom to a toddler freaks me out that I am unprepared. we obviously have a ton of stuff if it's a boy and season wise the clothes will fit just fine, but what if it's a girl? obviously I'll want to go crazy and get all the fun girlie stuff! but how will I do that with all of the circumstances

I know that family will be willing to run out and get whatever we need. but I'm a type a, need to plan & be prepared person who has control so I'm really leaning towards finding out what this baby is. and if we do find out, we won't be telling anyone. just keeping it our little secret. same with the c-section date.

I guess it's just starting to feel more and more real that we have a baby on the way. we have it pretty good with Caius right now and I'm nervous to interrupt that. the lack of sleep and the balancing of being a good mom to Caius and wife to Neil is a lot when I think about it. I don't want to damage the dynamic we have with Caius. and the stress of moving, followed by Christmas just freaks me the hell out. I know it'll all work out and the first 3 months will be our hardest. I'm just very, very nervous for all the unknowns. but excited too.

August 17, 2017

24 Weeks

How Far Along: 24 Weeks & 5 days
Symptoms: tailbone pain & it was confirmed this morning that I have SPD {symphysis pubic dysfunction} which together makes a ton of pain and discomfort. also looks like I have diastasis recti, like I did with Caius. this pregnancy has not been easy whatsoever and I'm only 24 weeks!
Weight: 198lbs.
Maternity Clothes: pretty much all I wear. maxi dresses with a jean jacket at work and or leggings with a t-shirt. comfy and cozy
Belly Button in or Out: in but it's feeling smaller and smaller
Sleep: I sleep okay. I have horrible groin pain when just trying to switch sides. I so badly want to use my bump nest pillow but it's not super comfortable right now. I also get up to pee either a half hour or an hour before our alarm goes off so that interrupts things too
Best Moment This Week: hearing the heartbeat at the ultrasound
Worst Moment This Week: this whole week has kind of been the sh*ts. I've felt off, in pain, grouchy and tired. sleeping makes everything worst. feeling tired, feeling sore.my OB said my uterus is measuring big which could be just how I am while pregnant or gestational diabetes. I'm obviously hoping that's not the case but I'll go for the sugar test soon to find out
Movement: so much movement! starting around 22 weeks, it was all of a sudden bam! feeling baby move. feels like rolls and jabs all the time. I keep trying to get Neil to feel them but he either misses it or can't quite feel them
Queasy or Sick: I was feeling super junky last week, almost nauseous but not quite. don't know if it was pregnancy related or just feeling a bit off
Looking Forward To: family/ maternity/ Caius' 3 year photos being done on Sunday!
Cravings: ice cream or chocolate. usually have to have a fix a few times a week
Recently Purchased: Love to Dream Swaddle Up! Caius was a arms up in the air sleeper and always managed to get out of his regular swaddle. figured I'd give this a try. bought a handful of knotted newborn hats from Jax & Lennon and a couple of sleepers and sleep gowns from Carters

Other: we finally chose our boy name! when we were expecting Caius, we had 1 girl name and 1 boy name when going to the hospital. when Neil called "it's a boy" during my c-section, I knew Caius was here before even seeing him. we wanted to do the same thing this time around but were at odds over the choices. Neil loved Cooper, I loved Daxton and neither of us loved each others choices. I found a name online, sent it to Neil and he said he loved it and I did too! it was such an exciting feeling and almost a relief that we both loved a name and wouldn't have to argue over our first picks in the hospital. our girl name is the same as when I was pregnant with Caius. I'm so excited for either gender as I love both names so much. I may even love the boy name a tad bit more :)

August 8, 2017

Holidays 2017

we had our last batch of holidays before the baby comes in July. we spent a total of 7 nights at the lake with a little break in between at home. we did all the usual lake things plus we snuck to shell lake for a treat of mini golfing, lunch & ice cream. we went swimming to the local pool, watched daddy play slopitch & had a bank appointment to see if we could move. which it looks like we can so we are in the works of getting our house ready to list! that was the longest stretch of nights we've done at the lake and Caius did overall great. right towards the end of our stay, we could tell he was done and ready to be home. we finished our holidays celebrating Olivia's 3rd birthday in the insane heat! auntie lisa sure has luck with hosting birthday parties on the hottest day of the year! we know that next year, lake time will be much different for us with a toddler and baby. we won't be crashing families spaces like we've always done but we hope to get a little trailer for ourselves so that we can still be out there for the weekend and not interrupting anyone's sleep. we really enjoyed our family time together. it's hard getting back into the groove of only seeing him a few hours everyday while being back at work

until next year!

July 14, 2017


you are 2 years and 9 months old. here are some things I don't want to forget about you
  •  you sleep in a big boy bed, with no sussie anymore. you have an ikea duvet set and real pillow. when I come into your room sometimes at night for whatever reason, you look way to big but yet so little in your big boy bed. you're falling asleep around 8:15/8:30pm and are up between 6-6:30am during the week. thankfully because no one is up and showering on the weekends, there have been a few times you've slept in either close to or past 7am
  • you have a cup of milk and usually peanut butter toast every morning for breakfast. sometimes you'll share cereal with me or have a yogurt. daddy likes to make fancy breakfast on the weekends and you love to munch on bacon
  • the two things you ask for first thing in the morning is either play cars or watch iPad. if you're tired and more on the lazy side, you like to watch the iPad for a bit to wake up. 
  • you love, love, LOVE to play with your big bucket of cars. cars, monster trucks, diggers.. the whole shebang. you make the sounds of a monster truck constantly and for very long periods of time. you have so many other cool and fun toys but all you want to do is play with your cars and monster truck toys
  • you still nap in the afternoons. you sleep from 1-1:30pm until 3-3:30pm. some days you probably don't need a nap, but to avoid grouchiness and bedtime meltdowns, you nap. at the lake when we've skipped naps, you've done fine. at home, not so much
  • the lake is your happy place. you are so good out there for us. you love to play at the park, go for golf car rides, play at the beach & coming golfing with everybody. you sleep on nana & papa's camper table like a rockstar. the lake this year has been our funnest and easiest year with you yet
  • you are not super confident in the water. you like to walk in and then walk back out over and over. you don't like to jump in and you don't like getting submerged. just a couple of weeks ago, you swam in the deep end for the first time ever with your puddle jumper! it was super exciting but that's the only "swimming" you've done so far. we hope to put you in the swim school come winter time so you can learn some safe techniques and build up that confidence!
  • you still love your jubejube very much. he comes everywhere with us still. now that sussie is gone, you sleep with 2 broken sussies. it's a giraffe party in bed with you. 
  • you have 4 special little girl friends at daycare, Maya, Reese, Sadie & Charolette. you say "no tammy's house" every morning before we have to go. but you have the best time once you're there. hasn't been easy to take you to daycare when you're asking me to stay home
  • I think daddy is your favourite person. he acts crazy with you, does silly things with you and of course, plays monster trucks with you better then I do. daddy is wild and silly and you love it
  • we have one week of holidays with you at the end of July and that'll be out last stretch of holidays together as a family of 3. I'll be done work at the beginning of November and your baby brother or sister will be delivered at the end of November.
 we love your funny but loving personality. you say and do such silly things lately. you are pretty sensitive but yet fiery at the same time. you are cautious caius, there's no doubt about that. it doesn't mean you miss out on things, you just take a little while to warm up to the idea and then enjoy. we love you so much buddy.

July 10, 2017

19 Weeks

 *edit, had my 19 week check up on Thursday July 13th

How Far Along: 19 weeks, half way there for us as baby will be delivered via c-section at 39 weeks!
Symptoms: lower back and tailbone pain. started very early on and is still an issue. I also dislocated a rib a couple of weeks ago. then I had a fall last week on Caius' slip and slide.. I fell on my left hip/thigh and I've completely screwed up my pelvic area. it hurts so bad and is so uncomfortable. by the end of the day, it's horrible. I saw a chiro last week and he suggested it could be a sprung pelvis or SPD {symphysis pubic dysfunction}, which would cause me a lot of grief for the rest of the pregnancy. I went to fetal assessment at RUH yesterday because all weekend long, it was just so bad. they don't think it's either of the things listed above. it's just the way my body is reacting to the relaxin and it's unfortunate it's so early on. I'll be going for massages, to the chiro and having Neil massage areas at home to combat the pain. my OB says it probably won't go away now until after delivery and the fall probably expedited it
Weight Gain: 191lbs.
Maternity Clothes: definitely. I started to show much, much earlier this time around. bring on the comfy t-shirts and maternity shorts
Belly Button in or Out: in
Sleep: sleeping okay but it's painful to turn over so that will wake me up a few times throughout the night
Best Moment This Week: seeing our baby for the first time at our 18 week ultrasound! I love seeing the hands and feet, legs and arm. it hit both of us that holy cow, we're really having a second baby!the heart rate was at 130bpm so I instantly thought girl, but then at RUH it was between 150-160bpm so I still have no idea what we're having. I 1000% knew Caius was a boy right from the beginning. this time, I'm so unsure!
Worst Moment This Week: falling and completely screwing up my pelvic area and lower back, f*ck the pain is bad and uncomfortable
Movement: I thought I felt some flutters a week ago. it didn't happen for long or was consistent. I have an anterior placenta again so it takes a little bit longer for me to feel movement. hopefully soon!
Queasy or Sick: thank goodness the first trimester is over. I felt sick all the time, didn't want to eat anything and then at the 14/15 week mark, it just flipped completely to not feeling sick and wanting to eat always
Looking Forward To: getting massaged tonight and seeing the chiro tomorrow to relieve some pain {exciting right}
Cravings: no cravings really, just let me eat everything
Recently Purchased: purchased a couple of neutral sleepers & sleeping gowns
Other: I had my 19 week check up today and overall it was a good appointment. disappointing to hear that this pain won't go away until after baby is delivered and also my blood pressure is a bit high right now. probably from the discomfort caused by the pain. couple of good things is baby's heart rate was at 150bpm, we'll get to choose our delivery date, I'll be able to request a clear curtain and delayed clamping so that I can interact with baby before they are taken to be examined. felt really nice to be reassured that I get a say with this c-section and my doctor supports all requests. it'll be a much better delivery experience this time around then it was with Caius which makes me feel actually excited and happy about our elective c-section decision!

18 weeks old!

June 21, 2017

Life Lately

there's been so much going on this past month or so and time is going by so fast that I don't want to forget all of it!

Caius is just growing and changing so much that we've had to make changes that suit where he is at right now. I bought him a cot to sleep in at daycare because there was no need for him to sleep in the playpen anymore. that's one thing that we're extremely lucky with and I'm so proud of him with how the adjustment from crib to "real beds" went. from day 1 of not being in a crib anymore, he has never, ever got out of his bed. at home, at the lake, at grandparents and at daycare. I still think he doesn't understand the concept that he can get in and out of bed as he pleases (he does during non-bedtime hours) but he just won't do it when it's naptime or bedtime. super thankful for that but I kind of find it funny too. neil built his real big boy bed on fathers day and again, it was a super easy transition. it sure is nice being able to lay in bed with him to read a book or to cuddle for a bit.

and of course, the biggest thing of all is that we finally pulled the plug on the beloved sussie. it's been on our minds for quite a while now but we just didn't feel confident to actually do it. he only really had it when going to sleep or if he was tired/ not feeling well so he didn't have it 24/7 but it was such a big deal to him. we decided to talk about the sussie fairy and how she would come to take sussies to babies who need them. we talked about it quite a bit the last month or so and more so during the past week in order to prep him for what was to come. we decided to purchase him a ride on jeep that would be his gift from the sussie fairy and it worked pretty darn well! he did great with putting all of his sussies into a bucket for her and was super excited about the jeep. bedtime was a little tough once he realized he was having to go to sleep without sussie. but overall it went much, much better then we were anticipating. hopefully it's only a tough days and we will be back to a normal bedtime and wake up (it was a 5:30am start to the day, post 1st night without it)

I'm super proud and excited for him. there's so many big changes happening and it's really making it real that he's no longer a baby/toddler anymore.. he's coming a big boy and will be a big brother before we know it!

May 29, 2017

13 Weeks

How Far Along: 13 weeks + 2 days
Symptoms: the nausea and food aversions aren't as bad anymore but will still randomly hit. evenings tend to be the worst. I'm still lacking energy and feel lazy all the time. our bed is my favourite place to be as soon as Caius is down for the night. I'm a very lame wife as of lately...
Gender: we won't be finding out the gender because we will be having an elective c-section for the sake of my health and to avoid preeclampsia complications so we will know the date & time baby will be delivered and keep the gender a surprise!
Sleep: sleep has improved but lately I wish that any moment I have, I could be laying in bed or taking a nap
Looking Forward To: the 14 week checkup next week with my OBGYN and hearing a heartbeat
Cravings: none so far
Recently Purchased: an official big boy bed for Caius. he's doing great with his toddler-crib conversion bed but I just felt it was time to get a real bed for him. daddy still has to build it and we need to purchase a twin mattress for it. baby probably won't be getting anything new until he or she arrive. if it's a he, we're set and if it's a girl, bring on the new clothes! I did purchase a dock-a-tot in between trying to get pregnant so that's something new & exciting we'll get to try!